hi

Where have I been????

Ok, so where've you been lately?

Yes I know...one more thing to feel guilty about, as if I ever get a break from that emotion! So life has proceeded in Blogsville very well without me. It has even flourished, if all those other really cool blog sites are evidence. Not that I haven't missed you. You are always in the back of my mind-when I think of how you wait with anticipation on my next posting and how relevant it will be to your life and lifestyle...well, I get guilty. And so goes the dilema... you wait, I don't post those gems, and I get guilty again. OK-there it is. It's all about guilt.

Did I ever tell you about some of my past lives?

A long time ago, I was born into a middle class Jewish family.....

What I Want to be When I grow Up

"What I want to be when I grow up" today is definitely not "what I want to be when I grow up" 50 years ago.....
Back then, it was about being the smartest, prettiest, most popular, best dressed person you knew with the same kind of smart, pretty, popular and well dressed group of friends and having a family with all those same qualifications. And choosing a vocation in life that allowed you to be and have a continuous stream of smart, pretty, popular and well dressed. Thank God(really..thank you Lord) that He never handed out smart, pretty,popular and well dressed to me then and intervened when it appeared a few of those things might have started to come around. It appears He was giving me a reality check by having the life I have had, so NOW I can say with all honesty what I want to be when I grow up....

I WANT TO BE GARRISON KEILLOR!!!!!

I want my sense of humor to stay in the room for 2 hours...after I leave. I want to make people feel so good about themselves that they smile sweetly and cherish the potshots I take at their lifestyles and beliefs. I want to write books that aren't necessarily page turners, but the tales they tell can be re-run as snippets in millions of heads when needed. I want to portray the frailty of human spirit, and the strength of it's resolve. I want to tell stories to people who can vividly see the beloved characters and flesh out their personalities with my flavorful descriptions. And of course, I want to channel Ben Franklin...just in case I run out of Garrison Keillor.

When I go back...where will it be?

Everyone seems to have some idea as to where they may end up....after the big "D" happens; will it be something like Holodeck scenes from Star Trek, where people get to go where they imagine? Do we create our own imaginary world to be an archetypical heaven? And if I am with others, do they see things the same way or the way they want to? And who performs the life review that will tell me just how often (and how far) I fell from grace? And...what if I don't agree with my review, do I have a right to protest?? Oh the questions upon questions!

In my ideal universe this will happen:
1.) How death occurs doesn't matter-it will go by quickly(and couldn't be as bad as childbirth-hey, I got over that!).
2.) A kind, wise Yoda type or even Obiwan would be a wonderful life reviewer. Spare me a sarcastic type, like Jimmie Kimmel or Dick Cheney.
3.) All feelings of guilt(that hallway closet didn't get cleaned before I departed!) and shame(why didn't they pick me for Red Rover..until last) and sorrow(did the kids learn enough from me that they will be ok), will fade and disappear.
4.) The Library of all Knowledge will be open all the time, and my card is good forever.
5.) Ben Franklin will invite me in for coffee; and we will talk for hours about all the people he knew and the places he visited.
6.) If I get tired, my energy stream will go staight-away and renew on the planets and moons of my original home.
7.) God sends me a "Get out of jail free" card. This will put and end to this merry-go-round of life on earth.
8.) There will be a really long siesta by the Hay Pile that Van Gogh painted.
9.) I will do all I can to sneak a peek at God, Jesus or even some of the angels.
10.) I am at peace.

Not much to ask for the afterlife, wouldn't you agree?

Has anyone ever thought of this???

I am going to pose a question....what is the last thing you wash in the shower everyday?

and another...

What is the first thing you wash everyday in the shower?

and another....

Do you share a shower?

and one more...

Has anyone else ever thought of this?

When did this happen?

Today, I looked in the mirror. No, I mean I REALLY looked. It was somewhat of a surprise to see who was staring back at me. Can't say I recognize her. She may be related -but probably not. She has hair like straw, so unlike my own shiny tresses. Those puffy things, like eyes, are bordered by chicken feet- no way like those drop-dead bedroom eyes of mine. She must smoke, as there are little tiny lines around her thin lips. I never smoked(sniff-sniff), and just know that God has rewarded me with plump, sultry lips that lipstick wouldn't dare bleed into. And those rouge-colored cheeks, nose and chin look more like she slept on a sandpaper pillow. The soft roses in my cheeks are more suited to a woman who blushes easily ....at some overheard compliment.

Yet, there she was.


Looking pathetically unlike myself. Does she deserve to look the way she does? Maybe. Could be a nightly wine habit... or chronic worry has etched crevices around a set of pursed lips. She may forget to slather cream on that worn, leathery skin. And there is no doubt she sleeps in her make-up and forgets the SPF foundation on that crepe around her neck.

But she continues to look at me, like a silent accuser. Poor thing...who is she?

Note to self: when I finally turn the corner onto Antiquity Lane, it is with grace and a good-natured sense of adventure, accepting each day for what it is; good, bad or just a day. And after easing into the final one third of my alloted years (give or take), the lessons learned from life will not be drawn in hills and valleys of facial landscape nor resemble a rumpled bed, wrinkled and unkempt. The aging woman that appears someday in my mirror will have soft contours and lips that turn upwards in a Mona Lisa smile; smug in the knowledge that she lived a life that left few clues as to her real age or chronicles. If only the face in the mirror could meet the serene woman I will someday be. The thought makes me smile a little. And appears to please the face in the mirror as well.

What am I doing?

Do I know? probably not...just want to be a part of this techno world I don't 'GET" very well.
But then again, facebook was a total foreign country a few months ago. NOW I'm the mother of all facebookers! So any and all creative criticisms are welcome.+----------